Brave Living

8 Signs You Aren’t Being Real

on
May 1, 2018

“Is she the faker?”

I was watching the Cooking Channel the other day when a baking show called Bakers vs. Fakers came on. Bakers vs. Fakers is a reality show where a group of bakers compete against one another through a series of elimination tests to win the grand prize. The catch? Not everyone is a professional baker. Inside the group are a couple fakers who are simply pretending to be professionals.

Naturally because I love to put a self-help-y spin on everything, these fakers got me thinking….how often do we pretend to be someone we’re not in our own lives? And how do we tell the difference?!

I don’t know about you, but there are times that I fool even myself into thinking I’m being “real” when really I’m just lying to myself.

Here’s the thing about these fakers from the show, even though they weren’t professional bakers, there were “tells” that the judges would pick up on that were clues as to who was a professional and who was home taught. There were things that weren’t quite right about the home bakers’ actions, techniques, or skills that any professional would know.

When we aren’t being true to who WE are, there are tells.

There are signs that we’re not being real and, even if you’re like me and feel like you can fool yourself into thinking you’re happy or on the right path, these are 8 signs you’re faking your way through the day.

YOU JUDGE OR CRITICIZE OTHERS.

  • People who aren’t crazy about themselves or the life they’re leading often turn to the easiest (and quickest) instant pick-me-up they can find…putting others down. #guiltymyself. If you aren’t being true to who you are, odds are your self-esteem is taking the hit and, if you’re judging others, it’s a warning sign that you need to re-evaluate.

YOU JUSTIFY EVERYTHING.

  • Sometimes coming up with an excuse is easier than looking at why we did (or usually did not do) something. When you find yourself constantly justifying your actions, odds are it’s because they aren’t aligned with who YOU are to begin with. #truthbomb

YOU NEED CONSTANT APPROVAL.

  • If everything you do is to get approval from mom, dad, friends, your boss, or the random guy at the grocery store, that means you’re not being real. After all, there is no way that they could possibly know you better than you do, right?

YOU PLAY THE SHAME GAME.

  • Find yourself avoiding certain people, topics, or situations? Feel like you can’t talk about a particular area of your life or a part of your story because it feels like people might judge you? Shame has us feeling “I am bad” vs. “I made a mistake”, and if we’re caught in the shame game, we try to avoid being ourselves by becoming anyone other than who we are because we feel we aren’t good enough.

YOU DISLIKE…JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.

  • If you hate your job, are frustrated with your habits (or lack thereof), keep finding yourself in one-sided relationships, or keep putting your dreams on the back burner to do things you don’t enjoy…that’s a definite sign you aren’t being real to who you are. Think about it.

YOU NEVER TELL ANYONE HOW YOU’RE REALLY FEELING.

  • When we aren’t being real, we often put on the “everything is great” face but don’t ever let anyone see ANY of our emotions –happy, sad, angry, peeved, hurt. We put on the constipated Barbie smile and go about our day. Being real means you have the courage to stand up + share what’s going on for you.

YOU’RE CONSTANTLY LOOKING FOR AN ESCAPE.

  • Partying with friends every weekend, 1 glass of wine that turns into 3 during the week, binge shopping #allthebathingsuits at Target, spending work hours scouring Pinterest travel trips, and even mindless Netflix watching are all signs that you’re looking to escape WHO you are and the life you’ve created because it’s not a full reflection of you.

YOU HESITATE BEFORE SPEAKING.

  • When you aren’t being true to who you are, you second guess everything – especially the words that come out of your mouth. “What will they think of me?”, “Is this dumb to say?”, “What if I make a mistake?” and “How do I make this sound perfect?” all flutter through your brain RIGHT before you open your mouth, causing you to hit the pause button. If you were being real, you’d speak your mind without the worry about what others think.

Do any of these ring a bell? Feel like you aren’t being true to who you are? Take it a step further and watch the video below. It has a quick quiz to see WHO you’re acting like on a regular basis and also there’s an exercise at the end to help you get back on the right track!

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4 Comments
  1. Reply

    Linda

    May 1, 2018

    I think that you my dear will be on the Women of Faith speaker circuit in the not so distant future! Your message is so on point for the young women of today! You go girl!!!

    • Reply

      Christiana Hill

      May 1, 2018

      I can’t tell you how appreciative I am of you Linda <3 THANK YOU for your support and encouragement! Gosh Women of Faith speaker circuit...that would be a dream!

  2. Reply

    Juliann Best

    May 1, 2018

    I feel like Im being the superstar because admitting to everyone I have flaws is the actual worst.

    • Reply

      Christiana Hill

      May 1, 2018

      I used to (and still do sometimes) this all the time. It’s crazy because we can be SO accepting of other people’s flaws, but we’re so hard on ourselves! Quick tell me…what’s ONE thing you view as a flaw that you’d love to work on accepting about yourself?

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CHRISTIANA HILL
USA

Hey, hey! I’m Christiana Hill – just a down-to-earth girl who decided life was too short and dreams are too important to sit in a gray cubicle while wearing a pantsuit. Nowadays, I travel the US in my renovated school bus teaching anyone who will listen about the true Art of Bravery and how it can help you live a life where you refuse to settle. Glad you're here!