I’m no stranger to hardship.
In fact, in a lot of ways, hardship and I have this weird parasitic relationship. I look for it, expect it, and often impatiently await its arrival. When things go right, I’m looking for the trial around the corner. When I’m feeling joyful, I often find myself holding back for the inevitable shoe to drop. Admittedly, I often do my best work when I’m angry or have some negative space where I can channel my energy.
If you can relate, by gosh keep reading because I’m going to do my absolute best change your life in a sarcastic filled 1,000-word blog article with this one mindset shift. Yeah…it’s THAT good. But before we dive in, I gotta share something first…
I’m not sure about you, but I used to view life like a giant penny jar.
I felt like all of the hardships, the trials, the bad things, or the sad moments were like adding pennies to this jar. Everyday that I put my head down and somehow managed to make it through the day meant that I got to add one more penny to that happiness fund.
And one day, I’d get to cash it out all at once like those tickets you get at the bowling alley.
Sometimes, I’d even bargain with God – “I can handle ONE more bad thing, but please, only if you send me a much needed break on the other side because I’m not sure how much more of this I can handle.” You can probably see all sorts of issues with this type of mindset, but the biggest issue I had was that I only allowed myself that one big cash out before I was expecting things to get bad again.
- I’d start a new relationship and would immediately begin bracing for the moment I got dumped.
- I’d land a new job and immediately feel fear that I was going to mess up more than could be fixed.
- I’d have a stroke of luck and immediately brace for some unexpected situation to ruin my good mood.
- I’d feel like I hadn’t earned happiness, so in some ways I was always deserving of poor treatment or negativity.
If I were to boil it down, I felt like life was happening TO me, and I had no way to control it.
Now if you’re sitting there thinking, “Oh gosh, it’s like this girl knows me”, then what I have to say next MIGHT peeve you a little bit. In fact, I’m bracing for all sorts of mean comments, nasty emails, and hate mail after writing this. Just promise to hang in there with me for me to share with you this mindset shift before you click away.
*Deep breath, here we go* Girlfriend, you gotta stop playing the victim.
And trust me I’m not pointing the finger while ignoring the three other digits that are aimed right back at me. I do this, too! But if you, if I, if WE ever want to change our lives for the better then victim mentality is the first thing that has to go.
Victim mentality will make it feel like life is out of your control. It will keep you small in a relationship that hurts you, a job that feels unfulfilling, a rut that you can’t get out of, and a cycle of mediocrity that makes you wish for anyone else’s life but your own.
Do you have ANY idea how unbelievably special you are? And don’t just take my word for it, this article actually breaks down how absolutely ridiculous the odds are of you being born. It also was written by a researcher at Harvard so, you know, it’s legit.
In case you don’t want to read it, let me give you the Spark Notes: There is a 1 in 4 TRILLION chance of you being born. That’s practically zero. So according to all science, odds, and probability, you shouldn’t be here….and yet you are. There is an almighty Big Fella up there who decided YOU were worth defying all the odds for. You are an absolute freaking miracle, NOT some victim to your circumstances. It’s high time you acted like it.
That’s the mindset shift that will change everything for you.
When you can realize, embrace, and understand that you were put here for a REASON, your whole life will change – and the greatest part is that you don’t even need to know the “reason” you’re here…you just need to know it has meaning and let that belief guide your life.
When you can make this shift, you’ll stop feeling like life is happening TO you, and start to realize it’s happening FOR you.
Hardship isn’t some payment toward a happiness fund, it’s a circumstance that is teaching you a lesson you need to learn, bringing a person in your life who you need, or just a general wake up call that it’s time to wake UP. Trials aren’t meant to break you, they’re meant to shape you. They’re happening for you to help you realize you’re stronger than you believe and braver than you know.
I know that some people reading this will have faced immeasurable hardships, hardships that would have brought me to my knees and made it impossible for me to get up, and yet here you are.
Seriously, Girlfriend, you’re crushing it. Be brave, believe in the miracle that you are, and let that mindset shift flow into every part of your being.
Act on it.
And you’ll be astonished at where it takes you in life.